Item #: SCP-320J
Object Class: Keter
Special Containment Procedures:
Direct Foundation containment of SCP-320J is currently infeasible due to jurisdictional conflicts with Nook Inc., a paracorporate entity operating within the D.A.G. (Digital Anomalies Group) charter. Observation has been delegated to a joint Foundation/Nook Inc. task force under the Antimemetics Division.
All outbound personnel stationed on SCP-320J are to be monitored for anomalous memetic or antimemetic symptoms. Deployment requires direct approval from Site Director Nook. Any individual declared “exiled” by local human subjects is to be treated as cognitohazardous until fully debriefed.
As of Incident-LUN-09, all field operations are suspended. Recovery and extraction efforts for embedded staff continue under low-observability protocols.
Description:
SCP-320J refers to a localized antimemetic and memetic anomaly affecting the island of “Lunartide,” a designated site within the Nook Inc. Deserted Island Development Initiative. The island hosts a population of 13 sapient humanoid entities (see Appendix A) and 2 humans. Nook Inc. staff (e.g., subjects identified as “Tom Nook,” “Isabelle,” “Timmy,” and “Tommy”) are present but appear unaffected by the anomaly.
Approximately 85% of the resident population (non-staff, non-human) exhibits persistent infection by an unidentified memetic vector manifesting as involuntary verbal appending of the phrase “malarkey.” This lexical artifact is used as a catchphrase and appears to spread through unknown mechanisms. Affected individuals express no awareness of the anomaly.
Initial transmission is suspected to have originated from a prior resident (“Patient Zero”) instructed by one of the two human subjects to adopt the catchphrase “lol.” Shortly afterward, this subject and others began involuntarily using the phrase. Subsequent suppression efforts replaced the catchphrase with “malarkey,” believed to be the original lexical pattern associated with the infected resident. This substitution failed to halt propagation.
Attempts to locate Patient Zero post-exile revealed signs of an additional antimemetic anomaly. The subject exhibited total memory loss regarding their residence on SCP-320J, instead reenacting prior dialogue verbatim during re-encounters with current human residents, even across multiple sightings. Other exiled residents demonstrated identical patterns of behavior, suggesting a persistent script-based mnemonic loop.
This effect is temporally and geographically bound: it activates immediately upon the subject’s removal from SCP-320J. Visitors (e.g., traveling vendors and entertainers such as “K.K.,” “Daisy Mae,” “Flick,” and “C.J.”) retain full memory of the island and appear unaffected.
Addendum 320J-01 – Incident Report: Agent Exile
Two embedded Nook Inc. researchers assigned to investigate SCP-320J were declared “exiled” by the local human subjects following repeated questioning. Despite being briefed on the known risks, both agents vacated the island autonomously within 48 hours, citing personal “vacation” plans.
Subsequent Foundation communication with the island ceased. Neither agent responded to mnestic conditioning, radio contact, or GPS queries. Recovery protocols were initiated.
Addendum 320J-02 – Recovered Documents and Evidence
Following loss of contact with the agents, Foundation recovery teams located both subjects on an uninhabited “Mystery Island,” where they claimed to be on a scheduled recreational tour. No such program exists.
Only two physical documents remained referencing the agents:
- Dodo Airlines travel logs, confirming arrival and departure dates matching the agents’ known timeline.
- Letter Recovered: Rejection Notice (supplied below)
Date of Recovery: ██/██/20██
Location: Refuse bin outside SCP-320J Museum
Medium: Crumpled stationery (pink, strawberry-scented, partially torn)
Contents:
Dear poop nut balls,
leave NOW i want PIETRO not you STINKY LOSER BABY.
Sincerely, GOD OF LUNARTIDE
Note: Handwriting analysis is consistent with Human-1. Letter content may indicate low-grade memetic aggression or enforced social exile protocols.
A handwritten note referencing “Mystery Island Tours” was also recovered from a notepad in a Dodo Airlines pilot’s desk. No digital records or procedural documentation match this term.
Addendum 320J-03 – Containment Policy Revision
Following the events of Incident-LUN-09, all further deployments to SCP-320J are indefinitely suspended.
Foundation review teams discovered that all central records of the embedded agents had been erased, including personnel files, assignment logs, and internal communications. Awareness of their presence was only re-established upon recovery of physical mail discarded on-site. These findings indicate that the antimemetic effect of exile extends to Foundation systems and staff.
This suggests the possibility of a memetic attack vector capable of selectively erasing individuals from all organizational memory. SCP-320J is therefore classified as a Tier-3 Existential Threat.
Foundation personnel are currently unable to confirm how many previous researchers or staff may have been lost to this effect. As such, the decision has been made to withdraw from SCP-320J operations until a complete audit of D.A.G. personnel deployments and residual mnestic traces is concluded.
Early reports suggest over 11 previously-exiled residents.
SCP-320J is to be considered an active antimemetic zone with potential memetic aggression capacity. Site Director Nook has been granted temporary autonomous control over the island’s oversight and access protocols until further notice.
Addendum 320J-04 – Agent Logbook (Recovered)
Recovered from: Internal memory of confiscated NookPhone device, data scrubbed but partially restored via forensic reconstruction. Large gaps in time between recovered entries. Log authorship assigned to the two exiled agents, who appeared to take turns writing logs.
[DAY ██]
Location: Central Island Sector
Log Entry:
Observed Human-1 engaging in intensive deforestation operations. All non-fruit-bearing trees systematically removed with an axe of unusually low durability. The subject replanted every grid-aligned tile with apple trees, resulting in complete monoculture.
Ambient wildlife unaffected. Residents didn’t seem to mind.
Hypothesis: Human-1 attempting to establish economic hegemony via single-crop resource domination.
[DAY ██]
Location: docks
Log Entry:
Spent the day fishing. [REDACTED] told me to gather intel, I told her to buzz-off and it was her mouthing-off at [REDACTED] that got us deployed here in the first place.
Sent from NookPhone.
[DAY ██]
Location: Human-1 Dwelling Perimeter
Log Entry:
Massive stockpiling of root vegetables identified as turnips. Piles located adjacent to residence, unprotected and exposed to elements.
Audio surveillance via parabolic microphone array (Model DASU-4) confirmed subject’s refusal to store produce, and citing inability to “time travel” without rot risk.
Turnips are arranged in a square pattern visible from elevated terrain. Occult interpretation pending.
Residents showed no response to hoarding behavior. Daisy Mae seen departing island with large monetary payload. [REDACTED] went up to her and gave her a tissue, despite our orders to avoid direct interactions; said, “that booger was bothering me”.
[DAY ██]
Location: island center
Log Entry:
Watched human-1 chop down every single tree she planted — why???
At least I won’t have to deal with the sound of those two shaking every damn apple tree every three days.
Sent from NookPhone.
[DAY ██]
Location: Central Island Sector
Log Entry:
Island has undergone significant redesign by Human-1. Northern area is now an outdoor entertainment district while Southern area has the Museum and Nook’s Cranny.
Picked-up some mention of attainment of “5 stars” before somebody knocked over the microphone array.
[DAY ██]
Location: town square
Log Entry:
Something interesting finally happened on this dead-end deployment:
A white dog showed up and started playing guitar in the town square. It was sick.
Sent from NookPhone.
[DAY ██]
Location: Human-1 Dwelling Perimeter
Log Entry:
Human-1 has not been seen for 1 year, 4 months, 3 days. Isabelle greeted me by reading the same morning announcement.
Human-2 has not been seen for 2 years, 1 month, 5 days.
[REDACTED] has been increasingly uncooperative, keeps saying that the Foundation forgot about us and that we should just leave.
[DAY ██]
Location: whatever
Log Entry:
human-1 finally left her house for the first time in forever. [REDACTED] has been asking me to gather intel, so I went right up to human-1 and started asking her questions.
Nothing to report except that this deployment has been a colossal waste of time. I could’ve been splitting atoms at CERN, but instead I had to go and join the Foundation.
I want a vacation.
Sent from NookPhone.
Appendix A – Resident Manifest (Redacted):
- 2x Human
- 1x Cervid entity (“B”)
- 1x Canid entity (“C”)
- 1x Leporid entity (“R”)
- 1x Cricetid entity (“F”)
- 1x Ursid juvenile (“M”)
- 1x Ovine entity (“P”)
- 1x Felid entity (“T”)
- 1x Spheniscid entity (“R”)
- 1x Sciurid entity (“S”)
- 1x Lupine entity (“V”)
- 4x Exempt Nook Inc. staff